I usually don't like posting stuff from other websites. Mainly because I'm delusional enough to believe that my own verbal outpour is far more interesting, and secondly - what would otherwise be the point of a blog, if not to have an outlet for your own drivel and to occasionally comment on things you find in the infinities of the WWW?
Anyway, this one was just too good to keep it to myself.

I knew there was something wrong with the world. The political lethargy, decrease in morals, Britney Spears making a comeback, global warming, and now even the drugs aren't what they used to be.

http://www.nme.com/news/various-artists/40699

I'm a bit confused that NME, the supposedly high-standard music magazine, published this article. Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll alright, but what is the message?
"Dear readers,
We know that 90% of you take this shit, but as it turns out, this shit is really shit. So don't take it."

Also: There is an organisation that "tests" seized drugs??? Composed of whom? Keith Richards, Robert Downey Jr., Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse?

But my favourite quote by far is:
"I don't take it anymore because it's all talcum powder and paracetamol."

I never knew it was so easy to quit hard drugs.

Does this also work with heroin? Just take the junkie's stash and substitue it with talcum powder and paracetamol and he'll be no longer an addict?

Should I write to them and tell them that dextrose mixed with white pepper is an even cheaper substitue for cocaine?

Damn...why couldn't we come up with this ?!?

After ridicuously nurmerous remarks (though not complaints) from our loyal blog readers who find it highly amusing that our blog seems solemly dedicated to the topic of alcohol abuse, we would like to take this moment to make our first official blog statement:

YES!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

We do other things besides drinking.

But we don't think that any of those other things we do is nearly as entertaining for the public as our drinking binges. As a matter of fact, we think there’s nothing worse than bloggers who bore the common reader with fatiguingly narrated accounts about the size and texture of their daily bowl movements.

But very well.

THOU SHALT HAVE IT SO!

Today, Lyn and me were really, really bored. We were sitting at the kitchen table and didn’t know what to do with ourselves. Unfortunately, our friends are so worried that we’re on the abyss of alcoholism that we couldn’t even have a drink. So Lyn was like "We should go to the gym," and I was like "That is such a cool idea!“ So we took the bus to the gym.
There were many people on the bus with us but they were all dull, so Lyn and me talked about the weather. At the gym, we had a lot of fun, but we were really sweaty and smelled. When we came back from the gym two hours later, we were really, really, exhausted but still bored ( know now how that feels?) So Lyn said "Now that we exercised so bravely, we deserve a special treatment....we should do our hair!“ and I said "That is such a cool idea!“ So we sat at the kitchen table again and did our hair. And tomorrow, we’re gonna look really, really pretty.


The entire visual documentation of this epitome of ennui can be found below:


This is a really, really shitty mirror picture of Lyn doing my hair



This is the very recommendable well lotion we used.
Only 2,49 € at Woolworth's

(are you getting tired yet?)


This is Lyn doing my hair looking like the statue of a Greek goddess. Nemesis, possibly.
(I SWEAR we didn't drink!)




And this is...ah who cares...it's gotta be obvious...

I don't ever wanna drink again
I just, I just need a friend
I'm not gonna spend ten weeks
Have everyone think I'm on the mend

It's not just my pride
It's just till these tears have dried


photo and artwork by Lyn

It's what our bartender said when he answered the phone on the morning of March 18th.
Seriously. My stomach hurts. I've just been drinking for a whole week straight and there's green glitter everywhere. Every year, good ol' Paddy forces us anew to drink unrealistic amounts of strange-coloured beer to honour his "spirit"-ual lifework which, apart from hearing voices, mass-baptising everyone for free, and overthrowing ancient invaluable pagan knowledge, includes the feat of ridding Ireland of all the snakes. Nevermind that there were no snakes in post-glacial Ireland.

But let's not hold a grudge against him. There are worse holidays...like "International Women's Day". Don't even get me started.

Some impressions of how people properly acknowledge St. Paddy's work:


Caruso - all the way from Dublin


Rockhouse. Rocking the boat.